A Comparison of Two Versions of Love

A Research Article

What are the world's real feelings about love? I grew up in a Christian home, and learned what love was from a Biblical perspective, but I never knew what the world really thought when they heard the word love. I had assumed it wasn't too far off from what I believed, but going through many articles for the writing of this, completely changed my mind.

I am going to share with you several sources that summarized what many other articles were trying to say about what love is and show side-by-side what the Bible says. By reading what the world thinks about love, made my own relationship with God so much fuller, and left me realizing how open and clear the gift of God's love really is. The goal of this article is to show you the same things that I learned so you can experience the same eye-opening reality that God showed me. I also hope that it will equip you to explain to someone else what love really is.

"All of us have an intense desire to be loved and nurtured."

"Given the importance of the need to be loved, it isn’t surprising that most of us believe that a significant determinant of our happiness is whether we feel loved and cared for. In the surveys that I have conducted, people rate “having healthy relationships” as one of their top goals—on par with the goal of “leading a happy and fulfilling life.”

"We know that the desire to love and care for others is a hard-wired and deep-seated because the fulfillment of this desire enhances our happiness levels." (Raghunathan, Psychology Today)

While it is true that it is in our core to be loved, there is actually a deep reason for it. "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27. And the Bible made it very clear in John 1:8 that God is love.

But what about the fact that being loved is what makes us happy? Trying to be loved by humans living in a sinful world, even if they are Christian, will never bring the happiness that is so easily imagined. We are all flawed and never perfect, so that imperfection will always exist, and if the love isn't founded in God, it can fade. But God's love is different: "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8. His is the type of love that loved regardless of imperfections. This is completely opposed to what the article below said.

"Love is not consistent or predictable. It can explode and then disappear in moments, sometimes without warning or a predictable future"

"Love is a breathing entity. It does not wait for us to find it, and it disconnects when it is not sought. It cannot be taken for granted or expected to serve when convenient."

"If love is not acknowledged, is thrown aside or not honored, it dies. But most often, just a little bit at a time, it is struggling to stay until it can no longer. When it diminishes, it is never easy to coax it back into existence, no matter what is done."

"Love cannot be contained within a bubble. Every experience, every person, every thought, every feeling, every demand, every action that comes from the outside affects its ability to stay or leave." (Gunther, Psychology Today)

The Bible disagrees:

"Love never ends..." 1 Corinthians 13:8

"Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’" Luke 15:3-6 (I don't know about you but that sounds like love is active not passive.)

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 (God doesn't love us because we've done anything for Him. His sacrifice proved this.)

God is love, and He doesn't come and go when it is convenient for him. "Love never ends."

An article stated what things could lead to someone feeling unloved:

"Feeling unappreciated and unseen by your own parent or parents

• Experiencing betrayal in a long-standing friendship

• Experiencing betrayal in a long-standing romantic relationship

• Being abandoned by a loved one

• Feeling dismissed or insulted by someone close to you" (Geher, Psychology Today)

All listed above and more are sadly true in a sinful world. But the hurt from circumstances, the longing for happiness can't be solved with the human version of love. Even if we were to try and love on those people like Christians are called to do, we will never be able to fix the damage caused by the sin in our world. Because we are just as broken.

While researching this article, what deeply resonated with me is the evidence of God's perfect love. It is the only thing that could save us from ourselves. If He didn't love us and choose to die for us, then we would be goners. So why did I care so much about being loved by other sinful people like me, when the only one who had true love already died for me? Showed me the ultimate form of love.

Next time I meet someone who is lost to the world, I don't think I'll be able to talk to them the same way. Knowing that they are basing being loved on a counterfeit version of the feeling. God is love, and what love really is looks like this:

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

That is love. And it can only be found in God. But as an ambassador of Christ, I want to try my hardest to display this love for others to see. Maybe they will ask me where I found the love inside of me, and then they can find out for themselves.

Thank you for reading! Comment your thoughts below! This week's challenge is the perfect way to start showing others Jesus's love. Please grab a Christian friend and join me!

Weekly Challenge 2/10/2025

Works Cited:

Geher, Glenn, Ph.D., May 27, 2022, The Psychology of Feeling Unloved, Psychology Today, The Psychology of Feeling Unloved | Psychology Today

Gunther, Randi, Ph.D., December 29, 2023, 9 Things Everyone Should Understand About Love, Psychology Today, 9 Things Everyone Should Understand About Love | Psychology Today

Raghunathan, Raj, Ph.D., January 8, 2014, The Need to Love, Psychology Today, The Need to Love | Psychology Today